Stepbrother Broken (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 2) Page 13

  Sharp pain shoots up through my arms as I land hard, my wrists taking the full force of my impact with the dock. Rolling onto my back, I hiss out my pain through gritted teeth as the clear night sky careens overhead. Only now, as I lay here leveled, do I let the full weight of my despair roll over me. Deep, wrenching sobs rip out of my throat, carrying out across the still water of the lake. Laying here, alone between the water and the sky, I feel smaller than I ever have in my life. Just when I thought the universe was on my side, I find myself out of its good graces once more.

  My voice catches in my throat as the sharp sound of screaming shatters the night air. I pull myself to sitting on the slippery dock, cradling my aching left wrist to my chest. Raised male voices ring out from the front of the house. At first, it’s only John and Cash that are yelling out there like madmen. But then I hear Luke’s voice as well, raised in outrage. I’ve never heard him like this, before. Not even that night at The Bear Trap, when he stopped me and Danny from getting attacked. The ire comes through loud and clear in Luke’s every shouted syllable, but there’s something deeper rumbling beneath his anger.

  It’s pain.

  The shouting voices give way to sounds of fierce struggle, and icy panic floods my body. Luke’s told me about how his father used to hit him and his brothers when they were small. I had no idea that threat of violence still existed. I would expect a man who hits children to be too cowardly to fight with anyone his own size. But as the men’s screaming reaches a fever pitch, there can be no doubt of what’s unfolding out there in the dark.

  Before I can form a single rational thought, I scramble to my feet and start sprinting for the house. My wrist throbs painfully with every step I take, but I couldn’t stop now if I tried. The hurt in his voice matches my own pain. Our sorrow is vibrating on the same frequency, and his draws me to him now. I fly across the grassy lawn, no plan in mind to stop the men from beating each other into the ground…

  But it looks like I won’t need one.

  I skid to a stop as Luke storms around the side of the house. He’s unhurt, as far as I can see. And thank god for that. His shoulders are drawn up, his hands balled into furious fists. His strong, square jaw is set like concrete, and his mouth in a straight, grave line. But it’s his eyes that do me in—his pained, furious, perfect green eyes. The same eyes that have seen to the very core of me, in whose gaze I’ve found deeper understanding than I could have ever hoped possible, are alight with anguish. And the second they land on me, a fresh wave of tears washes over me.

  Luke catches me up in his arms as I run to him, burying my face in his chest as I weep. He holds me tightly to him, bracing me as I shake with sobs. We don’t need to ask the other what’s happened, the shared source of our despair is perfectly clear. Our parents have decided to advance their relationship, which means a future between me and Luke is impossible. Even the rest of the summer, which we were supposed to spend together at Sheridan, has been ripped away from us.

  “It’s not fair,” I whisper fiercely, looking up at Luke.

  “No,” he growls, wiping the tears from my face with his thumbs, “No it’s fucking not.”

  “What are we going to do?” I breathe, clutching my throbbing wrist, “Luke—”

  “What happened?” he demands, gently taking hold of my left arm.

  “It’s stupid,” I mutter, shaking my head, “I was upset, and I lost my footing—”

  “It’s swollen,” he says through gritted teeth, “Probably sprained.”

  “Don’t worry about me,” I say, “What about you? Are you OK? I heard—”

  “We need to set this,” he cuts me off, leading me back around the house to the garage. “I’m sure I have a splint from one of my sports injuries upstairs.”

  He won’t let me ask about the fight, that much is clear. Dazed, I give in and follow him to the garage. His car is parked there, and I steady myself against the trunk as we reach it.

  “Wait here,” Luke tells me, planting a kiss on the top of my head, “I’ll be right back.”

  I nod silently, and Luke disappears into the house. For a moment, all is silent again. But just as I start to take a breath, I hear the shriek of tires peeling out of the driveway. Rushing forward, I catch a glimpse of the family pickup charging away at top speed. And standing there, watching it go, is my sister. Maddie. Her body is rooted to the ground, still as stone. She looks as gutted as I feel. I take a step toward her, hoping to offer what comfort I can, but she turns and bolts into the house just as Luke reappears in the garage doorway.

  “Here,” he says, holding up a small sling, “I must have been fourteen when I needed this, so it should fit you fine.”

  “Ha, ha,” I smile tremblingly, as Luke helps me work my arm into the brace, “Good to know your sense of humor is still intact. I have a feeling we’ll be needing it.”

  But he doesn’t respond as he ministers to my injury. Each minute of silence that unfolds between us feels like another brick in the wall that’s rising up to separate us. Just as I muster up the courage to speak, the sound of a slamming car door jerks my attention away. I turn to see Maddie hoisting her heavy suitcase into her secondhand car and hurrying into the driver’s seat. She takes off like a shot down the driveway. And I know for certain that she’s not coming back.

  “This whole thing is falling to pieces,” I breathe.

  “That’s for damn sure,” Luke replies, helping me to standing. Once he sees that I’m stable, he goes back to the garage door and grabs something else from inside.

  It’s my suitcase. And another that must be his.

  “What are you doing with those?” I ask softly.

  “We’re leaving, Sophie,” he tells me, “I’m getting you out of here.”

  “We can’t just leave…Can we?” I breathe, as Luke walks around me and heaves our bags into the trunk of his car. “Nothing’s been solved, here.”

  “And nothing ever will be,” Luke says heatedly, slamming the trunk, “What just happened with my dad? That’s not news, Sophie. That’s been my entire life. And now this thing with your mom? And what it means for us…? Fuck it. I’m done.”

  “Maybe we should just think this over. For a second,” I offer quietly.

  “Look at your arm, Sophie,” Luke growls back, “You got hurt, because of this. Because of them. I don’t trust my dad enough to keep you in this house with him. We’re going back to Sheridan tonight. It’s safer there, believe me.”

  Cold fear runs down my spine as I see that Luke is truly afraid of what his father is capable of. What must this man have done to his sons to warrant such fear?

  “Look. Maddie’s already gone,” Luke says firmly, “I’m sure Anna will be right on her heels. Just please, say you’ll come with me now, Sophie.”

  “I…I’m not sure…” I stall, shaking my head.

  “Well I am,” he says shortly, “Trust me to take the lead on this.”

  “I do trust you, Luke,” I say softly.

  “Then prove it,” he growls, “And get in the damn car.”

  Numb and exhausted, I follow his orders and clamber clumsily into the passenger's seat. My final view of the lake house dissolves into a kaleidoscopic blur as tears rush in to obscure my vision. How such a beautiful place has played host to such chaos, I’ll never understand. But if there’s one thing I do understand, it’s the rush of relief I feel the second Luke and I hit the open road. As long as we’re in this together, there’s still a thread of hope to hang onto.

  Though I can’t say I wouldn’t prefer something a little stronger than a thread.

  Chapter Eleven

  Just a couple hours later, shortly before midnight, Luke turns onto the darkened Sheridan campus. The place is absolutely deserted on this summer night. And while I should be comforted by the sight of these familiar lawns and halls, the eerie, dead quiet of the empty campus ruins the effect.

  It’s a week earlier than I was meant to return to school for summer classes. Luckily, I got to k
eep my dorm room from spring semester, so I still have the key. At least there’s a place for me to rest my head, in the midst of all the chaos that’s erupted tonight. And at least I get to share that place with Luke for the time being.

  He’s been nearly silent for the entire drive. I can’t even begin to guess at the contents of his mind. Luke’s had to be the responsible, loyal son among the Hawthorne boys his entire life. For him to have left with me tonight is a huge departure from that role. I don’t blame him for not wanting to talk about it right away. When he’s ready, he’ll tell me his thoughts. I hope.

  We roll to a stop in front of my dorm. Not a single light is on in the entire hall. I glance over at Luke, sitting motionless in the driver’s seat.

  “Did we just ditch a family drama for a horror movie?” I joke softly, “This place looks creepy as hell, all empty.”

  “It’s still better than being back at that house,” Luke says, cutting the engine and swinging himself out of the car.

  I push open the passenger side door and step out into the night. Luke falls back into silence as he grabs my suitcase out of the trunk, leaving his for a second trip since I can’t exactly carry anything. He walks past me to the front door of the dorm, unlocking it with his Sheridan ID card.

  “You know this dorm?” I ask him, stepping into the building in his wake.

  “Yep,” Luke replies, nodding at the security guard, “I used to live here, too.”

  “Small world,” I say quietly, as he summons the elevator. But he doesn’t reply as we step inside. My pulse quickens anxiously. Something feels off, here…between us. He’s stonewalling me in a way he hasn’t done since I was his smitten student. And I don’t like it one bit.

  The elevator doors whisper open, and we walk down the hall toward my room. Our footsteps echo loudly on the tile, the only sound save for the humming of the fluorescent bulbs overhead. I catch a glimpse of myself in a darkened study room window. The harsh light casts dark shadows under my tear-swollen eyes. My long hair is pulled into a hasty top knot, and the sling glares ominously against my white tank top. I look like a complete mess. But that stands to reason, since I feel like one too.

  “Here we are,” I say, my voice artificially light as I unlock my dorm room and step inside. I take a deep breath, savoring the familiar scents of sage incense and dark coffee. Already, the lake house is starting to feel like part of another dimension. Some place far removed from my real life—the real life where Luke isn’t my almost-brother, but a sexy teacher with a nose for justice. Being back here, I almost believe that we can put the events of this last week behind us.

  …Almost.

  “Do you have everything you need?” Luke asks, setting down my bag, “Ice packs for your wrist, Advil, all that?”

  “I’m a dancer, remember?” I remind him, “I’ve got ice packs and Advil for days.”

  “Good,” he says, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, “That’s…good.”

  We stare at each other across the living room, unspeaking. There’s only a few feet of space between us, but I’ve never felt farther away from him. His face is entirely unreadable, that easy understanding we’ve come to share is totally out of my reach. A sense of foreboding hangs over me like a swollen cloud, ready to burst. But maybe if I don’t glance up, it’ll disperse on its own.

  “You up for a movie or something?” I ask him, turning into the kitchen, “I don’t think I can sleep just yet. I’ve got some snacks left over here, too. Do you like popcorn? That’s a stupid question. Who doesn’t like popcorn?”

  “Sophie…” Luke says from the doorway, his voice harsh. He hasn’t taken a step into my room.

  “Maybe we can push the two beds together for tonight?” I go on, purposely not hearing him, “Something tells me you’re not gonna fit in a twin with me. Oh! Or we could just lay out all the couch cushions and—”

  “Sophie, stop,” Luke rasps. I force myself to take a deep breath and look back at him from the kitchen. He’s standing there in front of the door, his feet rooted in the ground. Pain and frustration grip his sculpted features.

  “What is it?” I ask quietly, not wanting to hear the answer.

  “I just wanted to make sure you got back here safely,” Luke says, his jaw set, “But I can’t stay here. You know that.”

  “Oh…” I reply, my voice straining through my throat, “That’s right. You’ve got your own room on campus, right? Since you’re going to be an RA? That’s cool, if you want to sleep there—”

  “No,” Luke growls, his hands clenching into fists, “It’s not about the room, Sophie. It’s about… Everything else. I can’t be here. At Sheridan. Not now.”

  “Wh-what do you mean?” I stammer, “That was the plan. We were going to come back here together and have the rest of our summer.”

  “You know that’s impossible now,” Luke says firmly, fixing his green eyes on me. “I can’t stay here with you, Sophie.”

  “But…I don’t understand…” I breathe, steadying myself against the kitchen doorway, “You have to stay. You’re teaching, aren’t you?”

  “I’ll let the school know that something’s come up,” he says shortly, “I’m done with this place. For good.”

  “And me?” I ask tremulously, “Are you done with me, too?”

  Luke looks at me in silence, and I watch as his green eyes harden into stone. He’s pulling away from me. Drawing up his defenses. Getting ready to lock me out forever.

  “Luke,” I say quickly, moving toward him across the room, “I know that tonight has been hard. With everything going on with our parents, and—”

  “Hard doesn’t begin to cover it, Sophie,” he cuts me off, shaking his head.

  “That’s fair,” I say, keeping my distance, “But isn’t that all the more reason we should try and get through it together? I mean—”

  “Wake up, Sophie,” Luke roars suddenly, striking the wooden door with his fist, “We can’t be together. Not anymore.”

  “Luke, calm down,” I tell him, backing away from his towering form. He catches sight of me shrinking back and shoves a hand roughly through his short brown hair.

  “Look at me, would you?” he growls through gritted teeth, “Now I’ve scared you. Jesus Christ… I’m just like him.”

  “Who…Your dad?” I breathe, stopping dead in my tracks, “You’re nothing like him, Luke.”

  “Then how did I get saddled with his fucking life?” Luke demands furiously, blinded by resentment and rage. I’ve never seen him like this, on the edge of losing control. And I can’t lie, it does scare me.

  “If you’d just talk to me, Luke, maybe we could figure something out,” I venture.

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” he says harshly, “You know as well as I do that this thing is impossible now. They’ve ruined it for us. It’s over.”

  “It doesn’t have to be,” I whisper, willing myself not to cry, “We don’t have to give them the final say, Luke.”

  “No,” he says with grave finality, “We don’t have to give it to them. They’ve had it all along. I’m sorry. I need to get out of here.”

  “Look, I don’t need to be here for summer classes,” I cut in, “Let me come with you. We can just go off together, start all over.”

  “Don’t be crazy,” he shoots me down, “You need to be here, doing what you love. Getting your future all squared away.”

  Because I won’t be a part of it. That’s what he’s really trying to tell me. That I need to get on with my life without him, and I might as well start now. God knows, he’s going to.

  “Please don’t do this Luke,” I plead softly, balling my trembling hands into tight fists, “Please don’t leave me here.”

  “I know it’s hard. But one day, you’ll thank me for not dragging this thing out,” he says, not looking at me.

  “This thing?” I laugh bitterly, “Is that what you’d call us? Just some thing?”

  “I’m going to go now,” he says, turning away fro
m me, “Before you say something you’ll regret in the morning.”

  “The only thing I regret is trusting you to be different,” I snap at him, “Trusting you not to hurt me like everyone else has.”

  “Don’t turn this into some kind of melodrama,” he says meanly, looking at me over his shoulder, “We’re not in acting class, Soph.”

  “Fuck you,” I whisper, “Get out of my room.”

  Without a word of response, he does just that, striding out of my dorm room with his shoulders squared. I rush across the space and slam the door shut behind him, snapping the lock into place with a decisive click. I listen to his retreating footsteps, barely audible over the sound of my pounding heart. Only once I’ve heard the elevator doors open and shut do I let that dark cloud of despair break over me.

  Pressing my back to the wooden door, I slide down onto the ground. I pull my knees tightly to my chest, letting the tears come hard and fast. I don’t make a sound as sorrow swells up all around me. I don’t cry and sob to the unfeeling heavens, like I did back on the dock. I’m speechless, voiceless in the face of this incredible, inevitable pain.

  You brought this on yourself, you know, some malicious little part of me says over and over again in the silence of my empty room, You brought this on yourself.

  And it’s true. I asked for this. I’ve been courting this heartache since that first day at the lake house, when I discovered the truth about Luke’s family and mine. I could have cut ties with him right then and there, saved myself from this unbelievable hurt. Maybe Luke is right about me. Maybe I’m more interested in being the star of my own little melodrama than I am in the people I care about most. Maybe I’m just a pathetic, masochistic little drama queen who’s had it coming all along.

  Well…What better company for a drama queen than her drama king?